Tea at the Unicorn Wine Guild

Yes, I meant solstice and equinox.  As in the winter solstice, the beginning of winter in a lot of places and spring in others.  It also tends to occur about the time of the New Year in many Western cultures.  Do you find yourself harried this time of year as you prepare and engage in the season’s festivities?  Do you find yourself saying “Next year, I’ll…” (You fill in the blank.)    OK, maybe you traditionally do this on January 1 while the rest of the household is watching the bowl games or maybe on Epiphany.  That’s fine.  It doesn’t have to be exactly onthe solstice or equinox.  The idea is to set a time each quarter to devote to planning and goal setting.  Setting a tradition of an afternoon or at least a couple of hours to sit and enjoy your favorite tea and scone or cookie and reflect on the year either alone or with a spouse or small group of close friends can be very renewing.  You may want to pull out those scrapbooks, journals or diaries.  Count your blessings and take the time to revise and formulate resolutions to last at least through the next quarter.

The custom of New Year’s resolutions is credited to the early Babylonians who took the beginning of the New Year as a time to resolve to return borrowed equipment and buy new ones for themselves.  A lot of us make those plans to lose weight, be nice to someone who usually irritates, etc.  New Year’s Resolutions are a series of short term goals to help us improve and break old habits.  And yes, come February most have been forgotten. 

Like other events, you should decide who to invite, when and where, what you will serve and what favors, if any, you will give.  In this case, small journals and pens are most appropriate.  Keep the meal simple.  You do not to be leaving the table to go to the kitchen for refills repeatedly.  It will interrupt the flow of thought.  Your first resolution as a group should be to meet quarterly to review progress and renew enthusiasm for the chosen resolutions.  Yes, this is not a once a year event, but something done at least quarterly, maybe even monthly.  Decide if  you will continue to serve as hostess or if the group wants to take turns serving as hostess.  You may want to go so far as to have written “standing rules” or a pact outlining the expectations and practices of this group. 

Here are some tips to help you with resolutions:

1.  Evaluate the price of success in terms of risk, time commitment, effort required, sacrifice and willpower.  You must be ready to accept them in order to achieve success.  If the sacrifice or cost is too great, the goal will cause too much stress and an increased change of failure.

2.  Give yourself a reward for reaching a goal.  Money does not have to be involved.  It could be the promise to get to sleep in on a Saturday without setting the alarm, a home spa day, or even an afternoon at the park or time to scrapbook or read.  

 3.  If you have a goal that was not achieved last year, review it for continued relevance and make revisions to make it more easily achieveable.

4.  Keep your resolutions to a manageable size.  Too many resolutions add too much stress.  If you desire, make a list for future reference.  Once you achieve a goal you have selected, you can then select a new goal from this list.  Review them at the New Year as well for continued relevance.

5.  Develop a support system to help you achieve your goals.  If you have made the resolution with a group of friends or a spouse, give each other “atta boys” or small rewards for achievement and little nudges to keep each other on track.  Set a limit on this or one person may make the others feel the need to overspend.  Other methods of support are to place reminders in your diary, pda or appointment book.  You can send each other emails or reminders over the computer.  You might also want to keep a resolutions journal to review on a regular basis.  Post notes on your bathroom mirror or the refrigerator or at your desk to remind you of your resolution.  If you do not feel comfortable with placing written notes in visible places either because it might become fuel for ridicule by the office bully or you don’t want the cleaning lady or children to see it (maybe that goal is to save enough to surprise them with a trip) then choose a symbol that reminds you of the goal.  It could be a teacup, a small plant or even a photograph or drawing.  Maybe it is a pop-up reminder from your computer’s scheduling system.

6.  Set realistic goals.  Trying to lose 30 pounds in the next 15 days is not realistic or healthy.  If your goal is large, examine it and try to break it down into smaller sub-goals that achieved one after another result in the goal. 

Make the new year a time for personal goal setting and resolve to become the successful person you know deep down that you are.